so, we went to hard rock cafe to watch some shows. the great thing is that one of the bands that played - silvercrow - belongs to a good friend of us, Paulinho. i bought their first cd a couple of years ago and it`s good, but the new songs are pretty awesome.
but… i was really stunned when the last band, tuatha de danann, played. they are so fucking awesome! how come i never listened to them before? D:

we watched 5 bands: wanted, silvercrow, devildust, some teen rock band i don’t know the name and tuatha, which was the best - followed by silvercrow. i think the teen rock band somewhat killed ‘november rain’ with their cover, but it was a nice attitude of them by playing some michael jackson’s greatest hits mix.
uh, the last time i wore my red contact lenses (that actually look somewhat pink/orange) was at my last birthday party, so i decided to work the creepy look.
oh, and there was this curious thing.. this girl came to me saying that her husband asked where i got my badass 7/8 combat boots and i told it was custom made. when i lifted my dress a little for her to see the logo, she laughed and showed the same brand on hers boots. it happens that her husband made both, but forgot that he did mine and was fascinated with it. XD then she introduced him to me and when we talked he was so high that i doubt that he’ll remember that we even had a conversation.

old picture. that’s the boots.

i’m afraid i haven’t any decent drawing here to post.. then i’ll post some links of great artists i like:

http://iumazark.deviantart.com/

http://wakkawa.deviantart.com/

http://tir-ri.deviantart.com/

http://ravenskar.deviantart.com/

http://ukitakumuki.deviantart.com/

http://mischievousmartian.deviantart.com/

gotta work now! bye!

unfinished. i named it “smile“.

dark, cloudy day..

sad thing is that yesterday, before all the celebrity death news, i was thinking about posting the story behind “Only Death Awaits”.

2008 was a pretty bad year for me. it was when the panic attacks started (and hopefully, where they will stay, lost in time) and when the absolute fear of death began to haunt me.
i guess this story always seems pretty much the same for anyone who experienced it: one day you’re at work and suddenly you feel your heart beating fast, then you get all sweaty and cold, then the blurred and tunnel-vision starts and you become absolutely sure that you’re gonna die. then you ask someone to drag you to a drugstore, asks for a ambulance and totally freak out because you’re dying.

and then you think about dying alone, without saying anything nice to the people you love and stuff like that. you don’t know it’s a panic attack, you’re certain that it’s a heart attack and that you’re gonna die.
and the most curious thing is.. you don’t even think about god. you don’t ask for forgiveness. you think about how you wasted your life and you just want the people you love to be with you, because dying all alone is terrifying.

then you don’t die. then it happens again and again and so goes on. then you go to sleep thinking that you’re gonna die and wake up still thinking about it and it becomes like a curse. i can imagine why people with this kill themselves, seriously, dying seems better than the fear of dying. ah, and you don’t need the panic attacks anymore, the fear is there and it doesn’t seems likely to go away.

you go to as many checkups you can and everything seems fine, but you’re messed up in the mind. y’know, it takes more than antidepressants and antianxiety drugs to not let the fear overcome you.. i mean, not everyone knows how it is to feel dizzy, desperate and confused with pain in the left side of the chest and left arm (and it’s so hard to breathe!) and still trying to keep saying to yourself “nop, you’re NOT having a heart attack”. am i not? it’s hard to ignore that.

Gui once told me to draw about it so i can overcome the fear. i have a set of death-themed drawings that really helped me to deal with the excess, although i can’t say i’m 100% ok now. perhaps 70%.

i still think that i’m going to die everyday, but it’s ok. things are never easy, huh? but i don’t want - EVER again - to think that i wasted my life when it comes to an end.

oh man! wonder if he’ll ever know
he’s in the best selling show
is there life on mars?

so, last friday was the brazilian valentine’s day (that’s not really accurate since it has nothing to do with saint valentin, tho..). i have little to add other than tori told in her last update, but yeah, seeing the media treating being single as a sin (especially in girlie magazines) and a commercial date like it is the most important thing makes me bitter. c’mon, people…
well, i was quite bored and didn’t want to pick any gift, so i just told gui what i wanted and asked what he wants. works wonderfully, i must say. my gift is in my feet right now: a melissa + vivienne westwood anglomania three straps shoes.

but his gift will take some time to arrive because i didn’t find it anywhere in this country..

we went to a restaurant and had japanese food. it was really good.

shoyo drawings

gui, sketching

gui, trying to suffocate himself

other than that, we’re watching life on mars lately and it is SO DAMN GOOD. i mean, the UK version, i saw the first US one and it sucked. and i can’t get over the fact that they did put some skinny blondie as annie and some “imsupercoolandbadass” guy as sam. -_-

but the film is a saddening bore
’cause i wrote it
ten times or more
it’s about to be writ again
as i ask you to focus on

usually i hate peanut and coconut candies. in fact, i dislike most candies that aren’t made of chocolate, but my fabulous family proved me that they are able to turn something i hate into something delicious.

in fact, i spent the last two days eating candies i never tolerated before.
they are fucking awesome at cooking.

cocada e pé-de-moleque.
i’m still hating these candies if they’re not done by them.

don’t ask.

it was a nice day. some lying-in-the-bed drawings of last night:

can i cry over the fucking cold weather of today? i mean, i already stole a coworker’s jacket and i’m still freezing. it seems that it’ll get colder… nothing wrong with that, except that i’m still sick so it sucks. D:

so, psp go isn’t touch screen and the ps3 slim was a legend. okay, the amount of awesome games that will be released for both consoles makes me happy. to see that psp will not fade into oblivion too, but the touch screen thing would definitely be a huge attack against nintendo ds. anyway, me and my friends named both microsoft’s project natal and sony’s bizarre thing as ‘wii killers’. microsoft seems more focused on wii’s public, since even the trailer was a super happy family “let’s do it together!” thing. ehhh. sony’s seems more badass, even being a bizarresque fallic controler (i know that the final product will probably look nothing like that, but still..), but it seems to work great… and it will probably kick wiimote’s ass.

things i’m specially excited for… hm… gran turismo, star wars: the old republic, soul calibur, singstar: queen (i wanna shot myself in the head just because i actually want a singstar game, but hell, it’s QUEEN. i can’t sing a note, but i think i’ll ruin everyone’s ears because of the awesomeness that is this band), final fantasy xiii and xiv, assassin’s creed 2 and a bunch of other games i can’t recall now (ever told how my memory sucks? well, sayin’ it now).

random sketchs done with ds. i’m busy with a bigger drawing but i have to finish some things @ work now. see ya!

i’ve got a badass cold and i’m feeling so sick. but here i am, at work, and i decided it’s time to another update.
i finished ‘my world, my way’ and it is just ok. i’d gave a 6 out of 10 to it, the beginning is nice, funny and all, but the game gets so repetitive and boring. it took about 24 hours to be beaten and i’m not really sure if it was worth it.
it’s not bad, but not really good either, y’know? but elise is cute in a weird way and i like the funny tone the game has.
i’m looking forward to crisom gem saga and knights in the nightmare now. and oh yes, waiting for the upcoming e3 press conference from nintendo and sony today (more sony than nintendo, though).
aaand i’m excited about the new psp go! and.. who knows, maybe… a ps3 slim? that would be good (also if, somehow, they get the ps3 price to lower a little, yeah that would be great)..

cutest cat ever sleeping in my bed. <3

argh, these drawings get all distorted since i don’t scan them. oh well, whatever.